Fasting (Part II. The Fasts 1-3)

In part one I explained that my pastor, Donnie Miller of Trinity Family Church, has been preaching a series this summer that has been designed to be a spiritual summer training program. He started off with prayer and journaling and has moved through fasting to silence. Donnie challenged us to fast 1 24-hour period a week for 4 weeks. Here was the challenge: Fast for 4 consecutive Wednesdays. Fast for a 24-hour period. Eat breakfast, and then don’t eat until breakfast the next morning. Sounds pretty simple right? Well, here is how it went.

Wednesday #1:

I ate a descent breakfast at McDonald’s with my wife and little ones. I had no problems skipping lunch & dinner. Then I went to help a friend with his flooded basement. A little manual labor here, a little sweating and tears there…then he ordered pizza for us. Fast broken. But I learned an important observation: The earlier skipped meals were a breeze! I wasn’t even hungry until I saw that delicious cheesy pizza and smelled the sweet aromas of pepperoni and hot steamy deliciousness, just sitting there in front of my face begging for me to consume! I feel I could have made it with just a little more effort (and the lack of pizza in front of my face)!

Wednesday #2:

I put in a little more effort and I survived the fast! But see, that is way too dramatic of a way to express it! I REALLY WASN’T ALL THAT HUNGRY! I experienced no hunger pangs (fake hunger pain-just the body used to eating at a certain time and gets ready for the food to come on down the ‘ol pipe). I had a bigger breakfast, but I tried not to gorge myself, that is just silly and in the end it does not work. I did drink quite a bit of water and I did drink some tea in the evening (it was hotter than Hades outside, over 100 degrees), I even went to the movies, and get this, I DIDN’T EVEN EAT POPCORN! And I wasn’t even tempted, I even thought about continuing into Thursday! Observation: I understand my addiction. I am taking baby-steps to be the one in control of my own body. I noticed that as I kept busy and drank water, that I was pretty good to go. Another observation: I am not going out of my way to address the spiritual side of all of this.

Wednesday #3

• (Written while fasting) I am doing well. I ate a good breakfast and here it is 2:37. I am bored. I also need to drink more water. I find myself hungry, but no hunger pangs, I am just bored! I still find it fairly easy to get through the day. I am realizing that I am not actually hungry, I just want to eat; another confirmation that food is an emotional outlet for me.

• (Written after fast) Again, I did it! And again, it wasn't so bad, really. Most of the time I wanted to eat out of habit or from an emotional response-I was bored to tears in the afternoon, so I wanted to eat! I will say breakfast (today-the day after the fast) tasted extra good and I ate a big lunch. I ate a big dinner too. I like eating. I like food. I'm hungry.

There’s only one more Wednesday to go; to be concluded in Part III.

-Durk-

Fasting (Part I. The Challenge)

My pastor, Donnie Miller of Trinity Family Church, has been preaching a series this summer that has been designed to be a spiritual summer training program. He started off with prayer and journaling and has moved through fasting to silence. I would like to talk about fasting.

Fasting is simply the denial of something. It is commonly in relation to food. So if you fast a meal you skip a meal. There are many variations. Most of the time it does not involve excluding water and sometimes juice may be drunk as well. Most of the time the practice is related to religion; many world religions acknowledge the practice. In Christendom many fast for many different reasons. The Lenten Fast is the most common or "popular"; it coincides with Jesus’ 40 days in the desert before he started his ministry. Christians’ observance of the practice vary from not eating meat on Fridays (except fish...) to a real honest-to-goodness 40-day fast! Some people fast sleep, some people fast eating chocolate or not listening to the radio. But this isn't fasting in the strict use of the term, it has just evolved in practice.

Why folks fast also vary. There are folks who regularly fast for healthy-related reasons. Fasting helps detox the body. In the case of religion, and specifically Christianity fasting should only be done in relation to a spiritual discipline, to seek God or to draw closer to God.

I have attempted fasting in the past; I have never been too successful. I have even felt panicky at the prospect of denying myself food. Honestly, I like to eat, just take one look at my physique (or my chubby face).

I would say more accurately that I am addicted to eating. OK, I know what some are saying: We’re all addicted to eating! But I am not talking about the physical need for sustenance-I mean we have to eat or we'll die, yeah, I get that.

I am talking about an emotional desire to consume tasty, delicious food! Steak & potatoes, sweets, fast food, ice cream, French fries, candy, pop, chips...well, you get the idea. I like to eat! And I don’t necessarily like to eat unhealthily; I just like to eat what tastes great! Most of the time that is junk food, fast food, fried foods, pizza, etc. Occasionally it is the succulent peach that is in season and perfectly ripe. Rarely is it a salad with the exception of a salad from Pizza Shoppe with extra pink stuff and pizza on the side! OK, I’m drooling.

I like to sit down with friends and share a meal; this is very important to me. I like to eat while watching TV. I like popcorn during movies. I like snacking at the mall. I like late-night runs for ice cream with the family. I like multiple portions.

So when Donnie challenged us to fast 1 24-hour period a week for 4 weeks, well, I was happy to think that I could do it, but not too eager to actually go through with it. Here was the challenge: Fast for or 4 consecutive Wednesdays. Fast for a 24-hour period. Eat breakfast, and then don’t eat until breakfast the next morning. Sounds pretty simple right? I'd really only be skipping 2 meals.

I'll tell you how it went in Part II.

-Durk-

Book Review: Titanium EBay by Skip McGrath

I love eBay. I love buying on eBay. I love selling on eBay. I love browsing eBay. I love sneaking in eBay at work. I love looking for silly stuff on eBay. I love wasting time on eBay. I love designing auctions and creating descriptions on eBay. I love making money on eBay.
It is that last one that I have been spending much time and interest in lately. And to that end I have picked up a great book by Skip McGrath, entitled Titanium EBay.

Titanium is the top level of eBay power seller. A power seller is someone who sells a certain amount of stuff on eBay...the bottom level is brownse-$1000 a month. Once you have sold $1000 worth of stuff on eBay for three consecutive months and met the other requirements (account in good standing a descent feedback score, etc) then eBay invites you into the Power Seller Program. This doesn't mean that they have profited $1000, just moved that amount of stuff on eBay within a 30-day period for at least 3 consecutive periods. If one is at the Titanium level then they are selling over $150,000 A MONTH on eBay! Basically you are an eBay Rock Star! There really are Titanium Power Sellers out there!

Titanium EBay is written to teach how to be an eBay rock star! It really is a great book. It covers all of the basics-getting officially organized as a business, how to sell something on eBay and where to find stuff to sell on eBay and how to sell stuff more efficiently on and off of eBay. It talks about business management, financing and organization. The not-so-basic is how McGrath simply explains the ins and outs of those subjects.

I have been thinking about officially getting organized (in the IRS sense) as a business for some time. But I thought it was expensive and complicated; I was very intimidated! But McGrath explains the process in plain English and it turns out it is fairly simple and not too expensive! Chapter 3 is dedicated to the different types of businesses-how businesses can be organized. Chapter 4 talks about local business licensing, federal tax ID numbers, state sales tax numbers, and talks about employee taxes. The author even provides links to download forms for organizing businesses. I printed out several forms and have been carrying them folded up in the book!

The book gives you very simple and powerful tips and tricks to sell on eBay. Much attention is given to researching products to sell on eBay. In my opinion this is one of the most important subjects of the book. My problem of late is not finding a source from which to buy products to sell, but which of those products will actually turn a profit on eBay, which ones will sell! McGrath goes into great detail about the different methods to research the salability of a product. He talks about life-cycles of a product. And even how to track products that have sold through eBay.

My other problem of late has been finding stuff to sell on eBay at a cheaper price! McGrath spends much time addressing this as well. In my opinion this is the other most important part of the book! One of the best quotes from the book:

There are four levels of wholesale distribution: manufacturer, importer,
distributor, and middleman. The closer you can get to the manufacturer the less
your product will cost. Never buy from the last level, the middleman. It is
virtually impossible to make money.

So of course I currently have access to a middleman. But after reading Part 3: Product Acquisition, I have a much better knowledge about finding products at a cheaper price.

I discovered that there is a whole lot that I am doing right on eBay and a whole lot that I already knew about. For instance, using auctions to promote store items and using the "About Me" page to promote an Internet web store (off eBay). It is a pretty cool feeling to know that I am on the right track. But there are many things that I learned and can’t wait to implement.

One thing that I did not know before reading the book and did not wait to implement was almost worth the price of the book: How to extend an auction from the normal 7 or 10 days to 26 days! This was almost worth the price of the book. Almost because eBay changed their policy! So this trick no longer works. I lost some money figuring that one out, over $100.00.

Which brings me to a big disappointment: The author directs you to his website where there should be a section devoted to those that have bought this book, his book; a sort of community. I was hoping for updates, corrections, or expanded explanation, maybe questions submitted by readers or a blog. But if you go to that address www.skipmcgrath.com/titanium the only thing you will see is “UNDER CONSTRUCTION”. I have been checking for about a month with the same results. The book has a copyright date of 2005, plenty of time to have SOMETHING up and running. I contacted Mr. McGrath and he responded to this issue, he had requested a Titanium site from his web server and they merely hadn't put it up-they forgot (or made it a low priority) and no one had ever brought the issue to his attention, he promised that the site should be up in a day or two of our correspondence. The site should be up and running at the time this is initially posted. On a related note I was very impressed that the author took time out of his busy schedule to not only reply to my email, but respond to my specific issues and to correspond with me, thank you sir.

Automation is another huge issue that is addressed in the book. With the right tools one can automate most of the selling and buying process. There are many tools out there that will help you post many auctions or store items in large quantities. For instance, you can post 100 or even 1000 items at once. The more auctions the merrier right, more money to be made. But this brings a whole new problem: WHAT IF THEY ALL SELL?! How are you gonna handle that many orders? Again, automation is the answer.

With the tools mentioned in Titanium EBay one can easily impliment automation. An initial automated email from the seller indicating that the buyer has won an item. An automated email from the seller acknowledging payment has been received. Automated feedback. An automated email to the seller specifying what items need to be shipped and to where! An automated email from the seller verifying that the item has been shipped and maybe providing a tracking number. An automated follow-up email asking the buyer to provide feedback or asking them if they are satisfied. Customized up sells can also be provided at every level of the correspondence directing buyers back to an item you are selling on eBay or, better yet, directing them to your personal website where they can place an order. Automation solutions to automated postings. AWESOME!

I would have liked for the author to go just a little deeper concerning how one might "connect' up with eBay. For instance, one of the things I would like to learn how to do is integrate my website with eBay's so that I can automate myself. I would like to use my own code to interface with eBay and implement automation.

For instance I would like to create my website so that I can provide feedback automatically to an eBay customer; use the website that I am helping design so that MY website can automatically give an auction winner the appropriate feedback. I know it can be done; the author lists many services that are already doing it. Instead the author directs you to a myriad of services who have already figured out how to integrate with eBay. He could have, at the very least, pointed in the general direction. But the author lists many websites and programs that are available for folks to automate certain facets of their business operations. I contacted Mr. McGrath and he responded to this issue, it is possible to integrate with eBay, but that I would have to become an "eBay Certified Solutions Provider" and that "costs a lot of money". McGrath encourages the use of Vendio within his book and within his email correspondence. Again, thank you Mr. McGrath for addressing this issue personally. This was especially useful to me as there may just come a day when I bite the bullet and take the Ebay certification journey.

It is fairly easy to implement automation. Most of these solutions require the eBay seller to direct the eBay customer to a 3rd party non-eBay site (such as Vendio). I would like to avoid that; I would like to automate as much as I can without directing the buyer to a different site, even if it is my site. I've heard negative feedback concerning having to use a checkout process that is not eBay's-at best a matter of inconvenience at worst a nightmare of confusion for the buyer to make a payment! Regardless, the buyer’s info has to be initially entered into a personal website or a 3rd party site for the automation to work, so the final question is should the buyer do this manually or should the seller do it manually for each and every purchase?

One thing is for sure: It takes money to make money. For the person just starting out, there does not have to be that big of an investment, but there may be smaller profit margins than if you have money to invest to buy product at a cheaper cost. McGrath also addresses this problem with chapters on how to raise money; either through loans, grants, or investors. He also talks about creating business plans and proposals.

All in all it was a great read. It was an easy read and mildly inspiring. There was much information that could direct newbies to many different paths that could lead to success with hard work and determination and with just a little bit of money. Skip McGrath’s website is full of excellent resources, and I hope that web experience will only be enhanced once the Titanium section is finished.

-Durk-

It's Been Over A Year

It has been just over a year since I lost my dad. I was reminded about it just yesterday-a friend asked me how I was getting along since my dad's passing-I told him that it was a year ago on Memorial Day. A whole year. The year where you experience all of "the firsts". The first birthdays without dad/grandpa, first his birthday, then mine, then my wife, then my boys. The first holidays without a visit or a phone call-Independence Day, Labor Day weekend, Halloween (Dad would have liked the boys’ costumes and our Hallow Haunt business), Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years, etc. We purchased a white mini van. Then there was the birth of Corbin Riley. Dad didn't even know Minnie was pregnant. Corbin was baptized on Easter Sunday. And finally Memorial Day was here and gone. It has been over a year. And I have to say that it has been a...well, an awkward experience for me.

As most of my friends know (and some acquaintances), I am a pretty emotional guy. I cried when my kids were born (yes, all 4). I cry at movies and TV shows; I cry every time I watch that "Extreme Makover: House Edition". I cry as I worship God. But I have not "emotionally" mourned my dad's passing-I haven't cried.

I can't really tell you why I haven't cried, why there is the absent of some emotional moment where I come to grips with the powers of the cosmos and the rhythm of life. But I know this: I loved my dad very much and I miss him very much.

My dad and I had a pretty close relationship. We got along great, always did. I loved to hear his stories. I think my dad was proud of me and loved my family. And I miss him. There's hardly a day that goes by where I don't have something reminding me that dad isn't around anymore. Something to fix around the house, something to look at with the car, a family milestone to share, pictures to email, and the list goes on and on.

There was no funeral, no viewing, no ceremony, no memorial service, no gathering to just talk! And that is the way my dad wanted it, he wanted to be cremated and that's it-no dwelling on the painful passing, just remembering the good times. And that's what happened. There was a road trip-all the way to New Mexico to meet up with my Aunt (who dad was traveling with-they both had retired less than a year before his passing). Although it was a somber trip, for me anyway there was no journey involved, no formal opportunity to feel the pain and to process things. I say “for me” because I remember my wife and twins talking and crying. I just drove in silence. Not really thinking, not really processing. So I have had to find other ways to process life without dad.

I saw a counselor shortly afterwards. It helped. One of the big questions that he posed to me was did I feel that my father was proud of me. Although I had to think about it, I had to say yes. Yeah, dad was proud of me.

In some ways I have done better than my dad. He was a 6th-grade drop out and I completed college. He had had 2 marriages and I have worked pretty hard to build a happy marriage and to form a family. I have a good job. I have a good life. Dad was happy for me. He told me many times that he loved me. He would hug and kiss me and my family-he adored my children.

My dad was not a professing Christian-he did not claim to have a relationship with Christ and with God. That is also a source of pain. I have never looked to my dad as a source of spiritual guidance or direction. Now I know that my father could have had some sort of death-bed experience-he was not feeling well, had lain down and then had a heart attack that took his life-almost immediately. Maybe in his sleep. Maybe not. He did not seem to greatly suffer. I am thankful for that.

It would be comforting to know that my father had had a spiritual experience before he died. It would be immensely comforting to know that I would see my father again in the next life. But I can't really hold onto that kind of hope. I know that was not true of the way my dad lived his life and I just don't know that to be true in his passing. And that makes it more difficult to process; as far as I know, my dad really is gone. Most likely I’ll never see him again. And that is probably the most painful part of all.

It has been a year. Still no tears. Still no explanations as to why there have been no tears. I still miss my dad. But I am continuing to process things. Even with this writing.

-Durk-